what i feel i really dont know~

yesterday i off ~cause she saw~ my comp hang
cant hide on time
she saw liao
slap me
she dun like m e play maple ~ need to listen mother mahs
yesterday i cried to my father summore
my result hor
i maintain top 10 in class
she dun accept de ( secondary )
since secondary 1
form 1 hor
i take 9th place
form 2
get 5 or 6
form 3 hor
first sem i take 7
second and 3 sem
i take 1
then hor since secondary 1
form 1 hor
i take 9th place
form 2
get 5 or 6
form 3 hor
first sem i take 7
second and 3 sem
i take 1
then hor
since secondary 1
form 1 hor
i take 9th place
form 2
get 5 or 6
form 3 hor
first sem i take 7
second and 3 sem
i take 1
then hor
since secondary 1
form 1 hor
i take 9th place
form 2
get 5 or 6
form 3 hor
first sem i take 7
second and 3 sem
i take 1
then hor
since secondary 1
form 1 hor
i take 9th place
form 2
get 5 or 6
form 3 hor
first sem i take 7
second and 3 sem
i take 1
then hor
since secondary 1
form 1 hor
i take 9th place
form 2
get 5 or 6
form 3 hor
first sem i take 7
second and 3 sem
i take 1
then hor form 4 and 5
cause harder mahs
not like form 3
i cant memorise de
my writing skills also not that strong
i try to improve la
so hor
maintain 4 and 5
but my mother always againts me
see my brothers
like angels
see me
like devil
haiz
i dunno what to say
my mother sayang my eldest brother most
he hor
can get top in class
she sayang
me and my younger brother
cant mahs
we diff lehs
she dont see that
in art hor
yea i might think the drawing nice
but the teacher dosnt
how to aspect me to get full marks
she just dont understand
she thinks
its like physics
can study can count de
she is not art person wont understand thats why me and my younger brotther
the only time we smile together
is when we sit together
mapling
i wanna be happy
i draw hapy
but when she ccomes is
everything ruin
but seeing her praise my elder brother time after time in front of me
my heart hurts
we are siblngs
why cant just treasure both of use equally
my mother
isnt like that when i was in form 3 de
then subsequently
when she worked longer in singapore
she became like that
i dont wanna lose my old self like her
my father says the same thing
i dunno
my fatther neverr treats me tthat way
my younger brother also dont like her additude
last year hor
she comes back to malaysia on saturday mahs
to spend week end
then hor
she come home
just step into the house
start nagging at us liao
my father says she got mental problem
me and my younger brother
are always protectted by my father when we were nagged
now i new to singapore
i'm only here for 4 months
and she is doing this to me
because of her additude
it makes me
dont dare to tell her wat i have
because it seems
like everrything i do
is wrong to her
i dunno
i just dont dare to say anything
cause
she never l k at what i think
she always draws her own conclusion

Respect or disrespect?

my life wats it about -_-!!! i come home after a full day of schooling~ in school feeling banyak stress already come home mother give me a dead look. I always release stress by playing maple rather enjoying myself when i dont enjoy school prison life !!! i see mother home i tutup maple with all the other applications not to let her know i am playing.Let her catch kena slap on the face i pain i dont cry in front of her.

Mother works hard earn money. What i do? I dont use money. I giam siap. skip lunch buy materials for my work. I no money i dont dare ask her because i dont wanna use her money. But i dont have money i cant go to school. School facilities not enough . Teacher encourage us buy our own light box. Lightbox cost 16x $ i dont want. Divert back to malaysian ringgit cost about RM 400 waste money i dont want. i never ask to buy 1. I use my house glass table to do my work instead. Feed back what i get."always dirty the table clean it up make the house soo messy!" What to do i do work half way kena marah -_-!!! I wan buy kena marah -_-!!! so i rather keep quiet. But what i doing is it right or wrong??